little one
I watched as you moved your hand,
while I held your mother's hand,
forcing myself to jump off that cliff
knowing what we were about to do
and not knowing how to be with you,
little one,
because I decided with all that I had
I was going to be the one holding you
until someone told me I couldn't.
You're gone now, and I still see a
bit of you in your brother, in the way
his smile lights up the room, and I know
you'll be the voice of reason in his head.
I miss you,
little one.
I never got to see that beautiful smile
I know you'd have, all the hopes and
dreams I'd see in those bright eyes.
I don't have your help to work through
this, where the day's work is always
there, and the snowy world is always
at your door. I don't have your cries
to come home to.
We'll wait,
little one,
for that first thawing sun
and with it the little kindnesses,
the warm rest in springtime,
when all of us are reborn
however momentarily.
Then I can remember
your perfect little hands,
remember with a smile
the way you rolled over
and didn't want to be
measured for any stupid tests
(just like daddy, little one)
and, once more, welcome
the simple things.
-- your daddy