conflicted subversion
Periodically, as everyone working in technology knows, there will be utterly meaningless all-hands meetings that one is required to go to, generally to listen to someone go on and on about rah-rah this or that. Sometimes, these meetings are held at local community centers or even at a local hotel, if your company is big enough. Today was one of those times, and I wasn't expecting a whole lot other than to see a little voiceover work I'd done be shown in front of the entire company. I like the anonymity in having my voice (obnoxiously British-accented) do goofy things in front of people in the company, and almost no one knows it's me -- although my manager gets a kick out of it. (What I don't like is that the company is taking advantage of me -- I'm doing this essentially for free. I got asked to do it because I answered the call for talent, hoping that it would get me in good with another recording studio that would eventually use me for paying work. Little did I know that it would turn into a "for the good of the company" series of gigs. At least it gets me out of work for a half day, but it still rankles, for good reason.)
But I digress.
There was lots of grumbling about this meeting -- the fact that it started at 9:30 AM, the fact that it was at the airport Marriott, the fact that it was likely going to be the same old crap we had to hear over and over again, you name it. One thing was that the HR people said there would be goody bags, that we would have to present our badges for. My manager and I, since we share the same nasty sense of humor as well as a birthday, immediately started saying that our goody bags would contain pink slips (a la Oprah and her car stunt).
Oh sure, there was much droning, and much sanitized humor that fell absolutely flat. But the whole reason everyone REALLY wanted to make this meeting became apparent: to conclude the meeting, the CEO gave us the day off (this, at 11AM), and our goody bags contained a $40 certificate to Fandango plus $100 in Amex gift check money. Holy crap.
No, I'm not going to go spend it on games -- I've already done that. No, this money showed up exactly at the right time so that we could get a lavish seafood dinner in Monterey. The wreckage of crab shells will be piled mighty high, my friends. What I most appreciated, though, was the time. I had time to go to Gator Games and fondle 80% of their inventory without buying anything. I ran some errands for LM. I had time to go up to the city and audition for a voiceover gig. I didn't even mind that most of the time I was sitting there driving on highways around the Bay Area -- it was a really nice day out, I had a black & white and a chocolate milk from Molly Stone's, the radio was playing baroque music, and life was good.
Of course, this makes me a bit conflicted, and I started wondering how cheap a whore I was, that I was this grateful for a chunk of change and a day off, from one of the largest corporations in the world, that is known worldwide for shoddy business practices, being largely responsible for the US trade deficit, the outsourcing of labor, and the continued destruction of unions.
But damn, just for one day, we got treated right. We got recognition for the work we've done. I went up to a director of PMs afterwards, shook his hand and said I appreciated all that he'd done for me (he'd come down hard on some PMs that were giving me a lot of trouble and insinuating a lot of crap behind my back). His response? "My job's easy: it's you guys that do all the work. It's true."
To be sure, there are a whole lot of workplace aggravations that I face every day, even in this drastically improved environment over my last job. I always try to act like a bit of a weirdo wherever I work -- nothing to get fired over, mind you, but healthily subversive.
For example, the picture above is from my old Clockwork Orange outfit I put together this last Halloween. Yes, unoriginal, and yes, it's just like every other college student's costume everywhere. But in the heart of one of the most conservative corporations on the planet -- ah, deliciousness. I printed out tons of frightening movie stills (no nudity, though) and put them in my cube. A like-minded coworker took all sorts of pictures of me in various threatening poses, right outside the breakroom. Once Halloween passed, the costume went away but the badge stayed, and other employees who didn't know me that well -- or hadn't seen any Kubrick movies -- started calling me Alex, which was a bit weird. The ones who were acquainted with my so-called sense of humor asked if I could truly get away with having a fake badge to wear around. The answer is yes, if you just cover up your real badge.
Since I had to show my real badge to get the swag, Alex is going away.
Since I'm grateful for today, I'll probably go in on Monday and put in a full day's work.
To be sure, this too shall pass and I'll fill myself up with petty resentments, bitchiness, and seething ineptitude, just like every work environment should be. I'll need a replacement subversive identity for when that happens.
Any suggestions or submissions? Samuel Gompers, maybe? (I don't think Lenin would go over with the sizable Russian engineering contingent.) Thorstein Veblen? I need help, people...