That boy ain't right

This is my first stab at doing a podcast, so bear with me if things don't show up quite right in your player, or the streaming goes all kaflooey. (Also be warned: the first track linked here is 34 mins long, so it's a heavy download even on a fast pipe. Be prepared to wait.)

A couple very dear friends of ours -- zombiegrrrl and hubby Mudge -- are leaving the Bay Area within days, for the snowier yet cheaper climes of Boston, to be closer to family.

As is usual in these situations, I'm conflicted about it.

On the one hand, living here in California has certain extreme disadvantages: the high cost of living, one of the highest in the world it seems, puts you into a netherworld where discussions about real estate pricing, how much the people down the street sold their house for, mortgage payments and property taxes, are not only not out of the ordinary, they're positively mandatory to talk about in polite company. Commute times of around an hour plus are not unusual. The amount of hard, unbelievable scrabbling you have to do just to carve out a place in the world is surreal. People turn into flakes, and when you find yourself turning into one you shrug. You live in a dark libertarian dream, where you have the freedom to succeed just well enough to have a nice life for a while, but you have the freedom to fall very, very far. And you're tired -- God, you're tired.

On the other hand, there's the life-giving sun, the summer walks through the neighborhoods of Victorians in the city, or the tree-lined avenues of 50s postcard suburbs, the open-top drives over that wonderful, wonderful bridge into Marin, or the pulse of life in the place that makes me ever curious about it, and ever willing to stay just a bit more. San Francisco, like many urban places, seems one of the last sane places left in America -- or at least the insanity there is harmless enough. Everyone you run into seems to be brilliant -- and if they're not working on something that will change the world in some small way, at least they're fascinating to talk to and to get to know. And some of them even put up with you. There is life here, and possibility, and there's something to be said for that. As a visiting friend of Mer's said: "It's expensive because people want to live here."

So I have a love-hate relationship with the place. It may kick us out yet when baby #2 decides to come along, whenever that may be. But we're playing the housing game now, possibly in that place where we're constantly trading up as we move along. It's a lot of work, but I expected no less.

So this podcast, narcissistic thing that it is, is for zombiegrrrl and Mudge. I dumped a lot of burned CDs on them for Christmas of things that I'd been asked for, and things that I thought they'd like, including a sad mix CD of songs that I thought of when I thought of them leaving... although this is a little more personal to me, I guess. I went through my collection and picked out 20 or so things that had some relevance to thoughts about my native Golden State.

Needless to say, if I move out of the state, I think I'm going to buy a giant bear flag for wherever we go.

California Culture

1. Estavanico - Donald Byrd
   First of all, I apologize for putting this track first -- I guess the technical term is "challenging".
   It was something I was exposed to as a kid: in addition to being raised on classical music, I was exposed to jazz and experimental music (e.g. Walter/Wendy Carlos). So a song by a jazz trumpeter stuffed with psychedelia and wandering rhythms, jarring dissonances and hippie flute sounds, wasn't that odd to me.
   The album's place in jazz history is fitting, too: after a stint of teaching jazz at various colleges, Donald Byrd lit out for the West Coast, and adopted a new, more Miles Davis-like sound that took him in a new direction away from his more traditional bebop East Coast roots. This was made in 1970, when a number of jazz musicians were experimenting with the form. (It's too dissonant and weird for Mer, but I love it.)


2. San Andreas Fault - Natalie Merchant
   California is definitely the source of the world's fascination with celebrity, and fame for fame's sake.


3. California Soul - David Holmes/Marlena Shaw
   ...so the people started to sing
   and that's how the surf gave birth, I'm told
   to California Soul
   California Soul

   The perfect soundtrack to that drive over the Golden Gate, when the setting summer sun is shining on the sailboats in the bay.



4. God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
   Mer and I originally had this one as a strong contender for our wedding song. Mel Carter's "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me" eventually won out, along with goofy dance moves that we couldn't perform if our lives depended on it, but both of us still have some twinges of regret that we didn't choose this one instead. Even though it has those overly-dramatic lyrics of "so what good would living do me", and even though it has that weird break in the middle (I think Mer and I would've resorted to "jazz hands" kind of mime moves at that point), those endless four-part harmonies at the end always take me back to that summer day in Soquel, when everyone was hot, slightly drunk and hopped up on Pez. Well, that and the poetry of Leonard Nimoy.


5. My Blue Heaven - Esquivel
   

   When whippoorwills call, and evening is nigh,
   I hurry to my Blue Heaven.
   A turn to the right, a little white light,
   Will lead you to my Blue Heaven.

   You'll see a smilin' face, a fireplace, a cozy room,
   A little nest that's nestled where the roses bloom;
   Just Molly and me, and baby makes three,
   We're happy in my Blue Heaven.

   When whippoorwills call, and evenin' is nigh,
   I hurry to my little Blue Heaven.
   A turn to the right, a little white light,
   Will lead you to my little Blue Heaven.

   There's a smilin' face, a fireplace, a cozy room . . .

   And a little nest that's nestled where the roses bloom;
   Just Molly and me, and baby makes three,
   We're happy in my Blue Heaven . . .

   We're happy in my
   Blue Heaven . . .

   (lyrics by George Whiting , 1927)

   Happiness is being a goofy dad, in a sunny place with lots of windows, in
   My...
   Blue...
   Heaven...



6. Mexico - Dick Dale & His Del-Tones
   Nothing like surf guitar to make you start planning your next weekend in San Luis Obispo.


7. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - Thelonious Monk
   

   I don't want you
   But I hate to lose you
   You've got me in between
   The devil and the deep blue sea

   I forgive you
   'Cause I can't forget you
   You've got me in between
   The devil and the deep blue sea

   I ought to cross you off my list
   But when you come a-knocking at my door
   Fate seems to give my heart a twist
   And I come running back for more

   I should hate you
   But I guess I love you
   You've got me in between
   The devil and the deep blue sea

   The feeling I get when we pay the mortgage.

Faster
A series of 3 songs that adequately capture how tired this place makes me feel sometimes.

1. Deadweight - Beck

   measuring your dreams
   of this life seems like the gristle of loneliness

   don't let the sun catch ya crying
   don't let the sun catch ya crying

   Not letting the sun catch you crying seems like the least of our problems, sometimes.

2. No Surprises - Radiohead
   Kind of an anthem for the struggling middle class, yes?
3. Badass - The Crystal Method
   A metaphor for the morning commute. You rush through most of your daily life - gobble something down, hop in a neglected car, listen to depressing news about death and destruction (or avoid it all by listening to music when it gets too much), go to a job you have an abiding toleration for, while away the day, and hurry home to savor what's important for a few brief hours before you go to bed, and repeat the whole process for four more days.

More podcasts will follow, on more thought-out themes than this one.