seen in the Hillsdale mall
So the Macy's in the Hillsdale mall has taken over what once was a Victoria's Secret on the second floor, calling itself the Macy's Christmas Outlet. I ducked into its stripey menstrual-colored walls in hopes of scoring kitschy ornaments for our tree. Everything there, however, was really boring. Lots of the same sort of glass ornaments you'd see anywhere, and nothing that was even visually interesting or remotely quirky.
Then I rounded a corner, and saw this:
It looks like two holidays had an incestuous relationship and had this poor misbegotten love child. I think the only Christmas tree decorations that could possibly be worse than these would have to be Operation Rescue's tree decorations (you'll have to use your imagination here), because this is just bad.
Is there really a market out there for people who forgot what holiday it was? Or people who are so invested in current events that they need to declare "my country, right or wrong" in their choice of holiday decoration? Is the War on Christmas (TM) that threatening to these people that they need to make some sort of loud, ignorant political statement right from every living room? And then there's what goes into the actual decoration: from a certain Fox News perspective I can see the Stars and Stripes tinsel, the ornaments made to look like exploding fireworks (always a plus around dry evergreens) and the flags, but what the HELL is up with the life preservers? Is this tree being shipped to an aircraft carrier in the Gulf? Is a sailor hat the only thing missing from the top? Is this some sort of lame-ass Ralph Lauren attempt at being ultra Martha Stewart-y tasteful?
Maybe the tree is trying to escape and save itself.
(Needless to say, our holiday decoration will be as it always should be: kitschy. We have ornaments of a velvet Elvis, robots, a bagel, the Starship Enterprise, a Star of David, assorted cool toys, obese Santas, metal snowmen, etc. Oh, there will be pictures. Yes there will.)