too bad HST is already dead
...because the animatronic band at the Deerfield Yankee Candle deserves a special mention.
It goes by the name of the Candle Mountain Boys Animatronic Band.
It goes off with frightening regularity, right in front of kiosks manned by ladies who are no doubt in the advanced stages of stress-induced insanity at having to listen to that crap over and over again.
The band itself has obviously been repaired haphazardly a number of different times, like something out of the Simpsons. One band member is supposed to be playing a washtub bass, but his strumming hand is three feet from the instrument he's playing. The hand itself is obviously stolen from a fashion mannequin -- a female one. I half-expect the robots to rise up and slay their human tormentors in a festive display of Christmas gore.
The band and the insane ladies selling fudge are surrounded by CHRISTMAS CHEER CHRISTMAS CHEER CHRISTMAS CHEER and tinkly carols being played on a constant loop, twinkly lights, and overpriced Christmas tchotchkes.
The next room is one of those "build a bear" stations that are starting to crop up everywhere. At first M thought it was for children's clothes. Then I thought it was humiliating costumes for pets. No, it's expensive costumes for your custom teddy bear as you select a bear, shove its anus onto a large hollow steel rod protruding from a high-speed stuffing machine, and then dress it up afterwards in a variety of costumes that say rather a lot about the person buying the bear in the first place.
I've been informed on a couple of occasions that the company takes very good care of the workers there. Good salary, great bennies, a gym, the works. And that it was a great boon to the town, as it brings in tour buses on a regular basis.
Just don't get caught manning the fudge kiosk next to the band, and try to block out the screams coming from the bear room.
Merry Christmas!