One giant leap into domesticity
It literally is in the middle of our street.
We bought a house in a nice section of Hayward, right on the border with Union City, on a street that will invite unfortunate Tone Loc references for the foreseeable future.
It sits right up against the green belt.
Oh sure, there are a few issues with the place. We were there on our inspection walkthrough this afternoon -- there is a lot of subterranean termite and fungus damage in the garage, some termite damage in the rafters, and some more termite damage in the exterior of the house where the previous owners put in a planter box directly abutting the bedroom. (This is all "section 1" damage that the sellers will either pay for themselves or knock off the price of the house.) There's a weird gate that leads directly to the main drag on the other side of the fence -- perfect for kids! The entry to the crawlspace is in a closet, which happens to be the owners' kids' closet -- perfect for kids! (Since I find opportunities in everything, I look at it as a way to discipline future recalcitrant children.)
It was built in 1956, and one slightly creepy detail is that it has the original goddamn furnace that came with the house. And the damn thing still works perfectly, apparently. But we're still getting a HVAC inspector, pronto.
I am now going to be really offensive: apparently Jesus likes to watch people fuck. He also keeps tabs on every room in the house. (We briefly thought of signing our kiss-ass letter "Yours in Christ", but decided that the real estate process had stripped away too much of our dignity already.)
In fact, one possible worrying thing about the neighborhood, in spite of its almost David Lynchian tree-lined suburban wholesomeness, is that the neighborhood seems to be solidly religious in little ways (a "TRUST JESUS" sign here, a lawn Virgin Mary there, and a disconcerting "I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS" sign in one window). Maybe the big CATHOLIC CHURCH on the corner would have something to do with that.
I have nasty visions of us having the only Kerry sign on our block come November.
I also figure Mer can put up any mezzuzahs or any other Judaica she damn well wants.
But it's got hardwood floors, big windows, a huge courtyard perfect for nice barbecues, ample space for an office, a guest bedroom that will be made into a baby room sometime, 2 decent bathrooms (although the master is kinda tiny), a nice kitchen, a huge garage with a worktable, an actual worktable, a worktable for building the intricate stained glass windows my mother taught me to make. Or building actual MST3K robots (or puppets thereof).
Or maybe something actually constructive along the lines of home repair or automotive maintenance.
I also have grandiose plans (as if first-time homebuyers don't get grandiose plans) of building a small arbor over the courtyard. Or maybe a xeriscape rock garden where the nondescript backyard is now.
In any case, my parents and their green thumbs have been happily drafted into the cause. They're going to go nuts when they see this.
The whole enormity of the thing hasn't really sunk in yet, I think.
But it's ours soon, and it's really nice. (And thank God we can still afford mortgage payments on 1 income for a while, if necessary.)
BBQ at our place in July?