tuesday is Fellini day
...too much information to follow...
So let me set the scene here:
We've continued moving things out of our place, piecemeal. Even our bedroom is relatively clutter-free now. What used to be our "study", which, in all actuality, was Brian's Geek-Out Chamber, is now completely bare except for the desktop computer in the corner.
Now, I've discussed previously the slightly humiliating prospect of masturbating into a cup. See where I'm going with this? It's Semen Test Day today, folks.
Let's just say that it's a very odd experience to do this in a completely empty room. Nothing but the carpet, the walls, the empty closet, and one extremely personal corner of filth. It's also very odd to be extremely turned on (as guys are wont to be) and then quickly maneuver yourself into a plastic cup that's, um, scratchy, hard and small. Also odd to have prepared for this occasion by dressing in clothes that are easy to move quickly in -- sandals, sweats, and T-shirt.
Mer has been waiting patiently in the kitchen, and cheers me on like a track coach when I run out of the room, paper bag in hand. She makes a face when I show the cup to her. I can't help that urge, the one that comes from being an older brother, to be gross.
I get confused by the address. The form specifically mentions the "collection lab", which I think is a different address from the regular PA MF location. So I end up running around PA/Menlo Park in sweats with a plastic jar full of semen in a paper bag at a quarter to 8 in the morning, swearing outside an Arby's. Not all that unusual a sight in RWC maybe, but definitely out of the ordinary for the bluebloods in PA.
Luckily enough, I manage to drop off the goods at the correct address -- same stupid building -- but I'll find out whether or not I have to repeat this embarrassing process and supply another sample.
Make it in to work only to find out that I'm late for one of those all-hands company rah-rah meetings.
A meeting in which someone actually uses the phrase "evangelist for food". Ruminate on that phrase with me for a second.
Evangelist for FOOD. It's not even noon yet and I need a drink already.
Warning sign that I need to get out, I think.